


Some Like It Fishy

by Northland



Category: Macdonald Hall - Gordon Korman
Genre: Drag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-22
Updated: 2004-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1628144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northland/pseuds/Northland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't be so conventional, my friend. Think outside the box," Bruno urged. "It's the one thing I've never done before, so the Fish will never suspect it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Like It Fishy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kylegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kylegirl).



> Disclaimer: Bruno and Boots are owned by Gordon Korman, and possibly Scholastic Canada. Beware the fic!

"Who does the Fish think he is, banning me from the Spring Fling? All for one little mistake!" Bruno Walton complained. He was trying to pace across his dormroom, but since it was filled with two beds, two desks, two bookcases, and all the electronic and sports equipment of two teenaged boys, he could only take two steps in any direction before turning. His roommate Boots suspected that Bruno was aiming for "caged tiger," but he ended up more like "pinball just fired into the machine."

"Setting a goat loose in the cafeteria is actually a pretty big mistake," Boots pointed out. "Especially in the middle of dinner. Did you see the way it stuck its head in Sidney's mashed potatoes?"

"We can't let him get away with this!" Bruno proclaimed, as if Boots hadn't said a word.

Boots wiggled into a more comfortable position on his bed and sighed. "What do you care if the headmaster bans you?" he asked. "You weren't going anyways. Last year you said that the music sucked, the punch was insipid, and not even a wild Scrimmette could drag you back."

"Exactly!" Bruno agreed. "But then it was my choice. Now the Fish has taken away my freedom to choose! Are you too scared to stand up and strike a blow against oppression at Macdonald Hall, Boots? To defend liberty against the tyranny of an evil headmaster? To--"

"Shut up, Bruno, you're starting to sound like the Declaration of Independence," Boots said wearily. "Before assuming that I'm crazed enough to help you, why don't you tell me exactly what you're going to do?"

Bruno grinned, sensing capitulation. "I plan to attend this year's Spring Fling, of course. And the Fish will welcome me with open arms."

"Oh, of course," Boots said, laying on the sarcasm. "And how are you going to manage that miracle?"

Bruno drew himself up to his full height, such as it was. "Melvin, your lack of faith wounds me. I _am_ a master of disguise, after all. I'll come as a foreign student."

Boots sighed again. "You've already done that. Remember Julio from Malbonia? The Fish sure does; he'll see right through it. Besides, we ruined the lederhosen and my uncle won't lend us another pair."

"I never repeat myself," Bruno sniffed. "Malbonia is old news. As for my disguise, don't worry, I've already got one. All you need to do is admire my fiendishly clever scheme." With a stage magician's flourish, Bruno flung open his closet to reveal a shiny, fuchsia garment draped limply over a hanger on the back of the door. A red wig dangled beside it.

Boots snickered. "You're going as a clown? Yeah, that's a genius idea."

Bruno grinned. "Nothing so obvious." He yanked the satin thing off the hanger, revealing it as a ruffled prom dress. He held it up in front of him, and pulled the wig on over his black hair with his free hand. "Ta-da! Boots, meet Bernadette, the newest exchange student at Miss Scrimmage's Finishing School for Young Ladies."

Boots stared. Long auburn waves fell over Bruno's shoulders, clashing viciously with both the dress and his dark eyes and black brows. Somehow the end result looked disturbingly like Jessica Rabbit, one of Boots' first cartoon crushes... wait, was he actually thinking his roommate was hot? Boots opened and closed his mouth twice before he could make any sound come out. "Are you going to the dance in drag? You're nuts!"

Bruno blew a lock of fake red hair out of his eyes. "Don't be so conventional, my friend. Think outside the box," he urged. "It's the one thing I've never done before, so the Fish will never suspect it. And I know Cathy and Diane will help out."

Boots groaned at the thought of the two girls from Miss Scrimmage's tackling the challenge of turning Bruno into a girl. "You're right about that." He ransacked his brain trying to come up with an argument - this was crazier than most of Bruno's ideas, and that was saying something. With relief, he seized on the first objection that occurred to him. "Ah, Bruno, I see one flaw in your cunning plan... unescorted girls can't attend."

Bruno frowned. "Well, naturally I thought that you'd be chivalrous enough--"

"No way!" Boots exclaimed a little too loudly. Slow dancing with Bruno - Bernadette - whoever! - was too embarrassing to consider. "You can just unthink it, pal."

Bruno was offended. "Are you insulting Bernadette's looks? I agree that pink isn't her best colour, but it's the only dress of my sister's I could borrow--"

"Stop talking about yourself in the third person, Bruno, it's creepy. I'm just saying that A, I've already asked Cathy, and B, if I showed up with a strange new date the Fish would definitely smell a rat."

"You've got a point there," Bruno said. He stared out the window, mental gears spinning. Boots held his breath and hoped reason would prevail, just this once.

"Let's get to work, then," Bruno said. He threw the dress and wig back into the closet and slammed it shut. "We've got to find Bernadette a date for the Spring Fling, and we've only got a couple of weeks to do it in. Who's our first choice? I say Gerald Blenkinsop."

Boots stared at Bruno. Sometimes you really had to admire the guy's iron nerve. "Blenkinsop's in twelfth grade, on the honour roll, and captain of the lacrosse team. Plus, according to Cathy, he's going out with Parminder Singh, the beauty queen of Scrimmage's. Maybe Bernadette should set her sights a bit lower."

"You'll see," Bruno said confidently. "Bernadette's not going to settle for just any date. We'll find her a highly desirable escort."

Faced with tagging along as Bruno canvassed all of Macdonald Hall for a date, modelling Bernadette's ensemble as he went, Boots did the only thing he could - he gave in. "Okay, okay, I'll take Bernadette! But if I'm going to do this, then she better not speak a word of English, Bruno. Get it? _Elle ne parlera pas anglais_!" Maybe he could do a little damage control.

"I knew you'd see reason eventually," Bruno remarked, pleased. "I think this year's Spring Fling is shaping up to be a memorable occasion. Oh, and when you're looking for a corsage, I prefer orchids."

Boots groaned and fell over sideways. "I can hardly wait," he croaked into his pillow.


End file.
